Sometimes I worry about Pelle. I want him to be a normal child, growing up in a lovely home and developing like a beautiful flower. Petal by petal unfolding, revealing his beautiful soul. But he’s not like a flower. Sometimes it feels like he’s stuck somewhere. Like nothing new is happening and he keeps repeating himself, over and over again.
If I compare him with other 3-years old, he seems so young. Not interacting with other children, living in his own world of busses and carparts. And then I worry. Will he be able to catch up? To really unfold? To show all of what’s inside him to the world? To share?
I love him so much and he makes me so vulnerable. Sometimes a have a bad day thinking there’s something wrong with his development. I dissapear into a cloud of sorrow and fears for the future. That happens every once in a while.
Most off the times I can let it go. I take a leap of faith and trust the future. Rely on the flow of life with all it’s goodness. But sometimes that’s harder to do, like today. So be it. That’s life.