2009 coming to a close

My last post for this year. It’s been tough, and I’m feeling sad. It’s becoming more and more clear to me that the boy I love so much lives in a world of his own. I’m sure he’s happy, but I so wished he was able to connect more with the world outside, with other children, understanding them and responding to them. Being interactive. I’m sad when I look at other children his age, who understand so much more and act so different.
So 2009 has not been a good year for me. I’m sure there will come a time when I can be happy, even though Pelle is just the boy he is. For now I feel the loss of a dream I unconsciously had. Of raising a curious, social boy into a responsible man. I’m faced with another task I can’t clearly see at this moment. One thing is obvious, though, and that’s that I still can give Pelle all the love I have and that’s more than I ever imagined I could feel, before he was born. I’m so grateful I’m a mum but it leaves me more vulnerable than ever. So I sure hope next year will be happier.

And for all of you who read this, I wish you much happiness, too. I’m glad you found me on the internet and read my posts. It feels like we have a connection. And we can never have enough off those, can’t we? It keeps the world together, smaller, human. So thanks for being here and share my thoughts and work. Let 2010 be a good year for all of us.

About PJ's and leggings

legging
Originally uploaded by oddwise

With the weather being so wintery I felt the urge to wrap Pelle in softness.
So I started sewing Pelle 2 PJ's and 2 leggings. The leggings are meant to wear under his skipant.
And the PJ's proved a great way to test an Ottobre pattern (because the shirtpattern also comes with a hoodie, which I'd like to make, too). I'm so pleased with the way the PJ's turned out, the prints combined with the solids. And I was able to test another way to make a V-neck binding. Not very suited for a PJ, I think (because it's a bit colder around the neck) but I will use this technique again for T-shirts and sweaters. As for the binding on the other shirt, I think I finally mastered it! Steching out the fabric along the neck and sewing it on using a twin needle.

A great book

I’m not one for great literature. I’m the one for great tales. I love reading books where the story captures you in every way. When, even if you put down the book, you’re still wrapped around in it’s atmosphere. Where you’re going to love the characters and want them to be your friends.
Now here’s the book I loved reading, because it has it all. An epic tale and great characters. With lots of threads woven into.
It’s about a twin boy growing up in Ethiopia, becoming a doctor, going to the States, finding part of his roots, and going back home again.
Put it like this, it sounds so simple, but that’s why I am not a writer. Because I can’t play with words that much (especially not in a foreign language) and make the story come alive. I can only express my love for a book that has the same feeling to it as The Kite Runner. If you loved that book, you sure should read this one.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Winter really set in, last thursday. I love the softness the snow brought. It seems all so quiet outside, muffled sounds, everything covered with a lovely crisp light. We were forced to pace down, driving slowly (I left that task to Mark), walking to the stores. 'Driving' Pelle home from school on the sledge. I really felt the enchantment in the air.

I sure hope we can stop global warming, because every year there seem to be lesser and lesser days like this. It's a real pity.

Here's a pick of our aplle tree and a view into the street (it snowed while taking it).

Being green

Being green
Originally uploaded by oddwise

This is the front of a pant I made recently. Rather green, hey? I love it.
As a wider wale corduroy in bright colours is very hard to get by here in Holland, I'm so glad I found this fabric some time ago.
I used pattern nr. 27 of the 4/07 issue of Ottobre, changing it a bit (kept some of the curves of nr. 29, and made them run through the back) and ... added some suttle hedgehogs. I just stiched them with my faithfull Pfaff.

Green pant, back
Originally uploaded by oddwise

Here's the back. The hedgehogs keep on walking along the right leg. And there's one on the pocket too.
The fit is great. It's a slender one, and I was afraid, with the elastic waistband I put into it that he wasn't able to go over Pelle's bum, but that's no problem.
Have to make them a little shorter, but wanted to wash them first.

in a row
Originally uploaded by oddwise

Here's a close-up.
I'm quite pleased with the way these turned out. Subtle, but present.

Rudolph

Rudolph
Originally uploaded by oddwise

It's been a long while, I know. I went through a small depression, I guess, because it seemed like all the joy slipped away in my life. I couldn't do anything else than watching TV at night, had no energy left. I so had hoped Pelle to be a normal child. I'm struggling with him being different. It grieves me, too. I guess that's how life is, giving up on your dreams, sometimes. Letting it go. Sure it's not the first time I have to do it, but it certainly is the toughest one. I'm not there yet, and maybe coping with his disabillity will be hard, at times. But fortunately I am sewing again. And I loved the way the hoodie turned out.