Celebrating my boy

Ever since I’ve been reading blogs (and I think that’s about 5 years now), I’ve been a fan of SouleMama. I’m not reading her tales everyday anymore, but every once and a while I hop over there for a doses of tender family life, love and care. I love the things she makes and the connections she makes with the world.
Her blog is also her way to cherish the good moments of life. To be mindful. And I think especially in her photo’s she makes these marks. Their like pearls in the continuing chain of everyday.
So, inspired by her, and to celebrate my boy, I’m going to publish more photos of him in action. So I won’t forget this precious time of his childhood.

green pants

green pants
Originally uploaded by oddwise

I made these some weeks ago, but only recently changed them by adding 2 cuffs on the ankles, just like the blue ones I made before.
I didn't want to do that first, but changed my mind because with a regular hem they were to wide and flappy. The fabric is a thin strechy cotton, perfect for this not-to-summery-weather.

Throwing away the curtain

You know how I’ve struggled with my special boy and him being different. When he was diagnosed as being autistic it felt like an incurable illness we just had to life with. I felt that the only option for me was to accept it and let go off my dreams. And although I tried to see things in a greater perspective, my feelings couldn’t. I felt lost. Deprived of a future where my boy could thrive and blossom. Where people would recognize his beautiful soul. And I also questioned the diagnose. Is Pelle really autistic? Is he on the spectrum somewhere? Sure he is not behaving like most of the children his age. But as I tried to pinpoint al those signs that are supposed to be typical indicators, I felt them slipping away. I tried so hard to search for ‘evidence’, that I lost my view on Pelle as the boy he is. So his diagnose really stood in the way. In the way of accepting him with all my heart, in the way of being unbiased and really open to everything he brings.


So that’s what a stigma does, even to a mother. It’s like a curtain. I was very busy trying to determine what the curtain looked like. I lost Pelle behind it.

But I am a lucky woman. Because of this blog, Maria contacted me. And told me about the Son-Rise program. Ironically, I have read this book about and autistic boy and the way his family embraced him and worked out a way to heal him many years ago, when I was a student. I have a very vivid memory of it. But I never made the connection with Raun, the boy in the book, and Pelle. Maria had to make it for me. Their message? Enter your child's world, and when he's ready, go play and show him the way out. You can help your child. Through real acceptance. By following and than leading.
And that’s another irony. Because in my profession, that’s also the key, if you want people to learn. First stand beside them and then show them alternative behavior. And always start with their own motivation, not with yours.

So I’ve thrown away the curtain. Because that was not helpful at all. Nor for me. And now I can see my kid again. And feel this joy arising in playing with Pelle and helping him coming into our world. And I really feel he’s growing so much, lately. Little by little, he is starting to interact with other kids. Holding hands with a girl on the playfield. Wanting to share his interest with gran, his biggest fan. Concentrating more and fantasizing more.
Maybe his brain is different from most kids. I now think that could be an advantage.
I heart what another father of an autistic boy, Rupert Isaacson, said. He and his wife also made an amazing journey to seek aid for their boy, Rowan. He wrote (in a more nuanced way that my summarization) that doesn’t even want to Rupert to be cured, as long as he has the ability to connect with our world.
And that’s my wish for Pelle, too. Being able to be himself, and have the social skills to interact with others. Because there’s so much love out there, for him. And I want to show him the way. Thanks to all the great instructions on the website of Sonrise, I now feel I have the tools in hand.

Flow and frustration

This is a bag I made for the little son of Pelle’s teacher, juf Hester. Baby Owen was born in February and Hester and he visited her old class today. I used an old curtain I found at a second-hand shop. The pictures are from a boy and girl called Jip and Janneke, famous characters from a Dutch childrens book. The bag is from a pattern from a Burda (nr. 2 of 2010), which I leafed through at sewing lesson and liked very, very much. And I also thought I could easily enlarge the pattern, once I got the hang of making it. Well, I was a bit optimistic. Bagmaking is not that easy. At least, if you are stubborn and want to make alterations. (Why do I do that all of the time?? These people at Burda sure do a good job at designing don’t they? But then I find some gadgets I saved, like a red square ring and a buckle I want to incorporate and I have to rethink the construction and then it all goes awry, because rethinking constructions is too hard for me).
Well, I finished it anyway and am pleased with the result, although the finish is not up to my usual standard. I sure hope Hester will like it.
And it was not all bad, because at the beginning I felt a real flow. I sometimes am so concentrated at a sewingjob which is hard, but not too hard, that time and everything else seems to disappear. It’s just me and the fabric, moving like one.
I trust I will feel it again, someday, with another piece. It makes sewing so worthwhile.

Making more presents

I made this napkin holder for a woman who gave me lots of fabrics.
It’s a version of a tissue holder I made earlier, but enlarged. I bought the lovely birds appliqué at the Hema, who are selling more and more embellishments these days.

I’m building up a wonderful collection of fabrics, and am so pleased with gifts. A curtain from my sister-in-law becomes a lining for a bag, a skirt from my mum turns into a pant for Pelle

ringo pants
Originally uploaded by oddwise

and the fabric from a friend of us is waiting to be used as wallhanging in the attic room where we meditate. The fabrics given to me are not my own choice, and that even makes it more valuable, because it helps me to step outside the box. And the things I really don’t like I give away, for someone else to see the beauty and usability of it.




Yesterday I was so happy, because I’m making a small bag (more about that later) and I can so perfectly use the D-rings of an old babycarrier given to us when Pelle was born and which I never used. Boy, these red rings are so worth cutting up the carrier and saving them, till 4 ½ years later I can use them.

My bag has arrived!

I had an e-mail from Ruth the other day. My bag has arrived!
I made her something "so nice, you would like to keep it yourself", as part of the Spring Suprise Swap.

I am pleased with the result, but initally, I liked to make a zippered pouch into the lining. Even with the aid of my sewing teacher, I had no luck and after spending two lessons in vain, I quit that option. So now there's just a simple pocket on the inside, although lined with a piece of blue silk.

To complete the outfit, I also made a keychain and a tissueholder. For the keychain, I used the fabric of the straps and some felt. The tulip matches the tulips on the bag. The bird on the tissueholder is an applique.

Since I had never made these items before, I had to experiment a bit with sizes and construction. I came up with my bankcard as an ideal size for the keychain.

For the holder, I used an example given by me a long time ago by Mirre from KissKus.

I added two fat quarters of fabric,

wrapped it all up, wrote a cart,

and off it went.

I'm told the bag is now a home for a new crochet project of Ruth. (She teaches at her collegues, too.) What a great match from the both of us.

007 ready for action

007 ready for action
Originally uploaded by oddwise

Here's a copy of a post I made for Flickr.
I made this first spring pant for Pelle this year, using pattern nr. 26, 'the Sean C. pants', from the Ottobre magazine nr. 4, from 2009.
It was a bit of a gamble. I loved the old-fashioned look of this pattern, but it is not something the boys in his class will wear. He's not influenced by that, but I am - a bit.
Now I'm so glad I followed through. I love this look on him. In stead of using elastic I made him some cuffs around the ankles.
The fabric was donated to me, and is a kind of softish denim. Perfect for this spring weather: not to warm, not to cold.

I'm going to make another one for him, the green fabric is being washed right now.