donderdag 11 juni 2009

Learning to drive

I guess everybody has his own fears and anxieties. One of mine was not daring to drive.
When I finished my study, I took driverslessons and after six times, I passed the exam. And that was it. I did not drive for more 10 years, because I never bought a car.
Some six years ago, when Mark and I were still living in Nieuwegein, a friend offered us her old car, because she bought a new one. This was our chance. The stationcar was from a solid brand (Audi) and not to expensive, so we decided to go for it. And that was it, again. Mark drove every now and then, but I did not touch the steeringwheel.
I dreaded the hectic trafic, and dividing my concentration between shifting gears and the road was just to much. I felt tense in the driversseat and that tension narrowed my mind, made me lose my ability to see the over-all trafic picture. So I managed with public transport. And that went very well.
Still, I felt incomplete. Everybody I knew drove without any reservations. I wasn’t the grown-up independent woman I wanted to be.

When we moved to Drenthe the car came along. And I decided that I wanted to overcome my fears. Because public transport is good, but sometimes very inconvenient. Because I wanted to broaden my horizon. Because I wanted to step out of my comfortzone just for the sake of it. But most off all because I realised that yes, I felt tense, but it was a feeling I could handle. I did not have to avoid it.
So no I’m driving again. Short trips along familiair roads and slowly going further away. I feel like I can handle it all, the car, the trafic and my concentration. I feel that I’m in controle.
I’m proud of myself. And it’s such a good insentive. If I master this, why not other problems? At least with one fear I’ve proven I can see it in the face and act.

1 opmerking:

  1. I think you should be proud of yourself! I didn't learn to drive until a year after we had Ronja - I couldn't affort it earlier on. However, I must admit, I loved driving, and I still do. I think all those years of having friends that were able to drive, while I had to take public transport (which actually, I don't mind either) - it just meant that being able to drive my own car was a huge experience! Now, it'll be exciting to see what comes next for you! :)